Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize