it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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