if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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