i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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