Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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