U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
