I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
