Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
