I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
