yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Let's get the cat blown out
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
