...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
