so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's official drugs can't kill me
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
