In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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