Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize