and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You have to summon your inner elephant
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
