well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
