please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
