This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
