My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Drunk is not a location!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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