3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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