You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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