I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official drugs can't kill me
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize