We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
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He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
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I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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