she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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