worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she peed on how many people?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
