You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
