This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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