I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize