So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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