We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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