if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
