I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Panties = found
Randomize
