How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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