dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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