My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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