When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
