I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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