I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
