i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
