If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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