You're my little dorito
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize