i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
