Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i drank out of a bidet.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
They are going to name an STD after you.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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