I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
