she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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