Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
