You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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