if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
