i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
