his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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