; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
