just come out here and I will go home with you...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
