I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
