well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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