What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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