I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
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I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
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you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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