i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
