I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
