I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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