i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Are we still banned from the library?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
