yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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