the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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